So what is the name all about?

Well...this is it...the first blog..hopefully I'll keep up with this thing....   If you are reading this...let me first start by saying welcome into my world..it's good to have you..and feel free to comment on any and everything that I say..what would this world be without the freedom to have honest and frank discussion?  Now that the pleasantries are out of the way...why am I doing this...blogging that is...which is strange because I am NOT a blogger...or a writer or a journaler (is that even a word??  but you know what I mean..)..it's just NOT me ..never been me to write down my thoughts, feelings, musings, etc...but here I am..why?  Well short version...I didn't know what ELSE to do with how I felt..so I figured I've talked..I've cried...why not try this...should be cathartic ..right??

Well here goes...today..one of my best friends in the world made a statement to me that broke my heart.  He said "LeAnn..I will NEVER be a Christian"...I said sure (as we have often debated religion as I am a Christian and he is somewhere in between but nowhere near Christianity)...but he repeated that statement again and then said "NOT EVER"..and literally my heart fell.  Now some background to this story is that he and I have been friends since we were 15 (we are now both 30!!), met sophomore year in high school, I thought he was a chauvanist pig because he used to talk about how Ike Turner was his idol...little did I know that years later he told me that he said that stuff because he KNEW how it annoyed me...but once again...I digress..fast forward to 2010 and he and I are the best of friends.  Now we never saw eye to eye on Christianity.  He actually grew up in a family that practiced Christianity, from what I can remember of previous conversations, had family members that were very engrossed in the church and had positions of authority...seems like a great foundation right?  Well...when you are an impressionable child..and you watch those that confess with their mouths to be Christians but their actions speak anything but...one could see how that could lead to confusion...maybe even a distain towards the person perpetrating to be a Christian...or even Jesus Christ himself because he is supposed to be the God that we serve. Unfortunately...that is the scenario that we have here...a lifetime of exposure to people that have claimed to be Christians...claimed to LOVE the Lord...but have displayed the antithesis of these statements.  So one can imagine that as a friend of his who is also a Christian...trying to overcome these years of negative history in an effort to discuss my beliefs with him could present itself as a challenge... and typically it does.

I find myself agreeing with him in terms of pastors that utilize the pulpit for their own desires, parishoners that attend church only to show off new outfits, Christians that have a desire to spread the good news of Jesus Christ but just as quickly turn their heads in disgust to those that really need help.  Today as he was describing a recent experience that he had with his sister's church I could only shake my head.  His father who he had never really had a relationship with just recently passed away and so he and sister were left to make the arrangements.  His sister who is a Christian and a member of a church in the area had his service there.  Apparently his sister who was a member was charged numerous fees, a love offering to the minister that was requested to be no less than 300 dollars, a fee to be paid to the deacons, a fee here..a fee there...and everywhere a fee..fee...before it was said and done...I think his sister may have paid close to 1000 dollars in "love offerings"...all of which gave her minimum amounts that she must donate (oxymoron right?!?!?) before she even placed their father in a casket.... WHAT?!?!  Now..I don't know much about this type of experience..considering that I have never had to go through anything like that and don't want to...however...if you are a MEMBER...one would expect some privileges..especially if you are an active member (tithing, serving, etc.).  I could not imagine someone telling me about minimum amounts for "love offerings" and I'm trying to deal with the death of my father.   So...add this fuel...to an already slow burning fire...and you have an EXPLOSION of the worst kind.

As we were talking and he was calling the pastor and deacons along with other leaders...fake/phony...along with explaining that during the service they had numerous offerings that appeared to swindle people of money... I remained silent.  He questioned the validity of churches, how leaders in the church that seem fake, are fake, can rob good people of their money without a blink of the eye....and how people can be so dumb as to give their money to these leaders when it could be better served paying bills, putting people through college, building nest eggs.  He questioned how we could follow some people so blindly.... He's a lawyer...his next thought was that they should be prosecuted...these "con artist" should be placed in jail for fraud and a host of other legal terms that I can't remember right now...but he was on a role.  In the midst of his rant...I said...ALL churches are not like this...ALL Christians are not like this.  I let him know that not everyone in church is there to worship Christ.....there are numerous that are not even saved...they are there to serve themselves...and it is up to Christians to read the Word for themselves...test the Word with the Word in an effort to identify con artists......we (Christians) have to put as much thought into choosing a place of worship...as we do anything else...and we need to make informed choices...pray on them...ask the Lord for discernment as to whether this is the place for them.  I also told him that even though it may look like these phonys are getting away with leading folks astray...that they are not...and that this life doesn't last forever...   His reply "Yeah...the Lord will take care of it right...while those that are following these folks...have to suffer right now"...   once again..I remained silent...because in the recesses of my mind...I agree with him...I wish that folks that were making a mockery of the pulpit ...would pay RIGHT NOW... just hit them with a lightening bolt Lord...make it easier for the rest of us...but...that's not his way..."Vengeance is mine..says the Lord"...but how do you make that make sense to someone that has been damaged frequently by what they've seen in the church and those that they have interacted with...and this is when my heart broke.

I began to think...my Lord...these "Christians" have completely TURNED OFF someone to your Word.  Now while I know that it is the Lord that softens hearts...and opens minds to his Word... we as Christians are required to FISH...and in order to FISH..we gotta have good bait...and if the bait is the WORD...and we can tell someone about the WORD...but we don't live it out...we have just DIMINISHED the power of our bait....possibly alienating the person.   As Christians we are the Lord's best representatives of his love here on earth...and if I know NOTHING of Christ...or would like to know him...and what we talk about is definitely NOT how we walk.....then can we blame any LOGICAL person for being turned off to this walk?   What I do know is this conversation got me to thinking about my own walk....and wondering if any action I had displayed caused a reaction similar to my friend's?  The truth of the matter is I will never know...at least not in this life...but I can't imagine that at judgement day...the Lord wouldn't call this to my attention.... and what could I say..."sorry"..."I deeply regret my actions"...really... I mean REALLY...is that good enough...?  I don't believe so...  and because if I am not so bold to think that at some point in my life as a Christian that I may not have managed to turn someone off, knowingly or unknowingly...I do not EVER want to do that again...Lord willing...therefore...my goal from now on will be to TURN YOU and others on to Christ.

This blog is about being accountable for this initiative by putting myself on blast...as the fallible human being that I am...but also celebrating the grace and mercy of Christ in that he is not going to leave me where I am...he is going to transform me into his image...he began a good work in me and he's going to continue it until the day of his return.  So today...I am going to document...what went well and what went horribly wrong (lol) in my daily walk with the Lord...and the things that through his grace he is going to help me to achieve.  I hope that you all will join me on this journey...maybe even discuss those ways that you are working to "TURN OTHERS ON"...using the work he is doing in you.... so I hope the title of my blog makes sense...and if anyone has any comments...please leave them for me...I look forward to reading them...hopefully this will catch on ...there are others out there like my friend...and I want them to know that there are some Christians out there who are really taking this life seriously and striving to be like Christ everyday....let's try to be the majority and not the minority.... this is only the beginning....appreciate your reading....Peace...

L.